| Heal The Kids - Oxford Speech Oxford University, March 2001 by Michael Jackson Thank you, thank you dear friends, from the bottom of my heart, for such a loving and spirited welcome, and thank you, Mr President, for your kind invitation to me which I am so honoured to accept. I also want to express a special thanks to you Shmuley, who for 11 years served as Rabbi here at Oxford. You and I have been working so hard to form Heal the Kids, as well as writing our book about childlike qualities, and in all of our efforts you have been such a supportive and loving friend. And I would also like to thank Toba Friedman, our director of operations at Heal the Kids, who is returning tonight to the alma mater where she served as a Marshall scholar, as well as Marilyn Piels, another central member of our Heal the Kids team. I am humbled to be lecturing in a place that has previously been filled by such notable figures as Mother Theresa, Albert Einstein, Ronald Reagan, Robert Kennedy and Malcolm X. I've even heard that Kermit the Frog has made an appearance here, and I've always felt a kinship with Kermit's message that it's not easy being green. I'm sure he didn't find it any easier being up here than I do! As I looked around Oxford today, I couldn't help but be aware of the majesty and grandeur of this great institution, not to mention the brilliance of the great and gifted minds that have roamed these streets for centuries. The walls of Oxford have not only housed the greatest philosophical and scientific geniuses - they have also ushered forth some of the most cherished creators of children's literature, from J.R.R. Tolkien to CS Lewis. Today I was allowed to hobble into the dining hall in Christ Church to see Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland immortalised in the stained glass windows. And even one of my own fellow Americans, the beloved Dr Seuss graced these halls and then went on to leave his mark on the imaginations of millions of children throughout the world. I suppose I should start by listing my qualifications to speak before you this evening. Friends, I do not claim to have the academic expertise of other speakers who have addressed this hall, just as they could lay little claim at being adept at the moonwalk - and you know, Einstein in particular was really TERRIBLE at that. But I do have a claim to having experienced more places and cultures than most people will ever see. Human knowledge consists not only of libraries of parchment and ink - it is also comprised of the volumes of knowledge that are written on the human heart, chiselled on the human soul, and engraved on the human psyche. And friends, I have encountered so much in this relatively short life of mine that I still cannot believe I am only 42. I often tell Shmuley that in soul years I'm sure that I'm at least 80 - and tonight I even walk like I'm 80! So please harken to my message, because what I have to tell you tonight can bring healing to humanity and healing to our planet. Through the grace of God, I have been fortunate to have achieved many of my artistic and professional aspirations realised early in my lifetime. But these, friends are accomplishments, and accomplishments alone are not synonymous with who I am. Indeed, the cheery five-year-old who belted out Rockin' Robin and Ben to adoring crowds was not indicative of the boy behind the smile. Tonight, I come before you less as an icon of pop (whatever that means anyway), and more as an icon of a generation, a generation that no longer knows what it means to be children. All of us are products of our childhood. But I am the product of a lack of a childhood, an absence of that precious and wondrous age when we frolic playfully without a care in the world, basking in the adoration of parents and relatives, where our biggest concern is studying for that big spelling test come Monday morning. Those of you who are familiar with the Jackson Five know that I began performing at the tender age of five and that ever since then, I haven't stopped dancing or singing. But while performing and making music undoubtedly remain as some of my greatest joys, when I was young I wanted more than anything else to be a typical little boy. I wanted to build tree houses, have water balloon fights, and play hide and seek with my friends. But fate had it otherwise and all I could do was envy the laughter and playtime that seemed to be going on all around me. There was no respite from my professional life. But on Sundays I would go Pioneering, the term used for the missionary work that Jehovah's Witnesses do. And it was then that I was able to see the magic of other people's childhood. Since I was already a celebrity, I would have to don a disguise of fat suit, wig, beard and glasses and we would spend the day in the suburbs of Southern California, going door-to-door or making the rounds of shopping malls, distributing our Watchtower magazine. I loved to set foot in all those regular suburban houses and catch sight of the shag rugs and La-Z-Boy armchairs with kids playing Monopoly and grandmas baby-sitting and all those wonderful, ordinary and starry scenes of everyday life. Many, I know, would argue that these things seem like no big deal. But to me they were mesmerising. I used to think that I was unique in feeling that I was without a childhood. I believed that indeed there were only a handful with whom I could share those feelings. When I recently met with Shirley Temple Black, the great child star of the 1930s and 40s, we said nothing to each other at first, we simply cried together, for she could share a pain with me that only others like my close friends Elizabeth Taylor and McCauley Culkin know. I do not tell you this to gain your sympathy but to impress upon you my first important point : It is not just Hollywood child stars that have suffered from a non-existent childhood. Today, it's a universal calamity, a global catastrophe. Childhood has become the great casualty of modern-day living. All around us we are producing scores of kids who have not had the joy, who have not been accorded the right, who have not been allowed the freedom, or knowing what it's like to be a kid. Today children are constantly encouraged to grow up faster, as if this period known as childhood is a burdensome stage, to be endured and ushered through, as swiftly as possible. And on that subject, I am certainly one of the world's greatest experts. Ours is a generation that has witnessed the abrogation of the parent-child covenant. Psychologists are publishing libraries of books detailing the destructive effects of denying one's children the unconditional love that is so necessary to the healthy development of their minds and character. And because of all the neglect, too many of our kids have, essentially, to raise themselves. They are growing more distant from their parents, grandparents and other family members, as all around us the indestructible bond that once glued together the generations, unravels. This violation has bred a new generation, Generation O let us call it, that has now picked up the torch from Generation X. The O stands for a generation that has everything on the outside - wealth, success, fancy clothing and fancy cars, but an aching emptiness on the inside. That cavity in our chests, that barrenness at our core, that void in our centre is the place where the heart once beat and which love once occupied. And it's not just the kids who are suffering. It's the parents as well. For the more we cultivate little-adults in kids'-bodies, the more removed we ourselves become from our own child-like qualities, and there is so much about being a child that is worth retaining in adult life. Love, ladies and gentlemen, is the human family's most precious legacy, its richest bequest, its golden inheritance. And it is a treasure that is handed down from one generation to another. Previous ages may not have had the wealth we enjoy. Their houses may have lacked electricity, and they squeezed their many kids into small homes without central heating. But those homes had no darkness, nor were they cold. They were lit bright with the glow of love and they were warmed snugly by the very heat of the human heart. Parents, undistracted by the lust for luxury and status, accorded their children primacy in their lives. As you all know, our two countries broke from each other over what Thomas Jefferson referred to as "certain inalienable rights". And while we Americans and British might dispute the justice of his claims, what has never been in dispute is that children have certain inalienable rights, and the gradual erosion of those rights has led to scores of children worldwide being denied the joys and security of childhood. I would therefore like to propose tonight that we install in every home a Children's Universal Bill of Rights, the tenets of which are: 1. The right to be loved without having to earn it 2. The right to be protected, without having to deserve it 3. The right to feel valuable, even if you came into the world with nothing 4. The right to be listened to without having to be interesting 5. The right to be read a bedtime story, without having to compete with the evening news 6. The right to an education without having to dodge bullets at schools 7. The right to be thought of as adorable - (even if you have a face that only a mother could love). Friends, the foundation of all human knowledge, the beginning of human consciousness, must be that each and every one of us is an object of love. Before you know if you have red hair or brown, before you know if you are black or white, before you know of what religion you are a part, you have to know that you are loved. About twelve years ago, when I was just about to start my Bad tour, a little boy came with his parents to visit me at home in California. He was dying of cancer and he told me how much he loved my music and me. His parents told me that he wasn't going to live, that any day he could just go, and I said to him: "Look, I am going to be coming to your town in Kansas to open my tour in three months. I want you to come to the show. I am going to give you this jacket that I wore in one of my videos." His eyes lit up and he said: "You are gonna GIVE it to me?" I said "Yeah, but you have to promise that you will wear it to the show." I was trying to make him hold on. I said: "When you come to the show I want to see you in this jacket and in this glove" and I gave him one of my rhinestone gloves - and I never usually give the rhinestone gloves away. And he was just in heaven. But maybe he was too close to heaven, because when I came to his town, he had already died, and they had buried him in the glove and jacket. He was just 10 years old. God knows, I know, that he tried his best to hold on. But at least when he died, he knew that he was loved, not only by his parents, but even by me, a near stranger, I also loved him. And with all of that love he knew that he didn't come into this world alone, and he certainly didn't leave it alone. If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can he dealt with. A professor may degrade you, but you will not feel degraded, a boss may crush you, but you will not be crushed, a corporate gladiator might vanquish you, but you will still triumph. How could any of them truly prevail in pulling you down? For you know that you are an object worthy of love. The rest is just packaging. But if you don't have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up. But no matter how much money you make or how famous you become, you will still fell empty. What you are really searching for is unconditional love, unqualified acceptance. And that was the one thing that was denied to you at birth. Friends, let me paint a picture for you. Here is a typical day in America - six youths under the age of 20 will commit suicide, 12 children under the age of 20 will die from firearms - remember this is a DAY, not a year - 399 kids will be arrested for drug abuse, 1,352 babies will be born to teen mothers. This is happening in one of the richest, most developed countries in the history of the world. Yes, in my country there is an epidemic of violence that parallels no other industrialised nation. These are the ways young people in America express their hurt and their anger. But don't think that there is not the same pain and anguish among their counterparts in the United Kingdom. Studies in this country show that every single hour, three teenagers in the UK inflict harm upon themselves, often by cutting or burning their bodies or taking an overdose. This is how they have chosen to cope with the pain of neglect and emotional agony. In Britain, as many as 20% of families will only sit down and have dinner together once a year. Once a year! And what about the time-honoured tradition of reading your kid a bedtime story? Research from the 1980s showed that children who are read to, had far greater literacy and significantly outperformed their peers at school. And yet, less than 33% of British children ages two to eight have a regular bedtime story read to them. You may not think much of that until you take into account that 75% of their parents DID have that bedtime story when they were that age. Clearly, we do not have to ask ourselves where all of this pain, anger and violent behaviour comes from. It is self-evident that children are thundering against the neglect, quaking against the indifference and crying out just to be noticed. The various child protection agencies in the US say that millions of children are victims of maltreatment in the form of neglect, in the average year. Yes, neglect. In rich homes, privileged homes, wired to the hilt with every electronic gadget. Homes where parents come home, but they're not really home, because their heads are still at the office. And their kids? Well, their kids just make do with whatever emotional crumbs they get. And you don't get much from endless TV, computer games and videos. These hard, cold numbers which for me, wrench the soul and shake the spirit, should indicate to you why I have devoted so much of my time and resources into making our new Heal the Kids initiative a colossal success. Our goal is simple - to recreate the parent/child bond, renew its promise and light the way forward for all the beautiful children who are destined one day to walk this earth. But since this is my first public lecture, and you have so warmly welcomed me into your hearts, I feel that I want to tell you more. We each have our own story, and in that sense statistics can become personal. They say that parenting is like dancing. You take one step, your child takes another. I have discovered that getting parents to re-dedicate themselves to their children is only half the story. The other half is preparing the children to re-accept their parents. When I was very young I remember that we had this crazy mutt of a dog named "Black Girl," a mix of wolf and retriever. Not only wasn't she much of a guard dog, she was such a scared and nervous thing that it is a wonder she did not pass out every time a truck rumbled by, or a thunderstorm swept through Indiana. My sister Janet and I gave that dog so much love, but we never really won back the sense of trust that had been stolen from her by her previous owner. We knew he used to beat her. We didn't know with what. But whatever it was, it was enough to suck the spirit right out of that dog. A lot of kids today are hurt puppies who have weaned themselves off the need for love. They couldn't care less about their parents. Left to their own devices, they cherish their independence. They have moved on and have left their parents behind. Then there are the far worse cases of children who harbour animosity and resentment toward their parents, so that any overture that their parents might undertake would be thrown forcefully back in their face. Tonight, I don't want any of us to make this mistake. That's why I'm calling upon all the world's children - beginning with all of us here tonight - to forgive our parents, if we felt neglected. Forgive them and teach them how to love again. You probably weren't surprised to hear that I did not have an idyllic childhood. The strain and tension that exists in my relationship with my own father is well documented. My father is a tough man and he pushed my brothers and me hard, from the earliest age, to be the best performers we could be. He had great difficulty showing affection. He never really told me he loved me. And he never really complimented me either. If I did a great show, he would tell me it was a good show. And if I did an OK show, he told me it was a lousy show. He seemed intent, above all else, on making us a commercial success. And at that he was more than adept. My father was a managerial genius and my brothers and I owe our professional success, in no small measure, to the forceful way that he pushed us. He trained me as a showman and under his guidance I couldn't miss a step. But what I really wanted was a Dad. I wanted a father who showed me love. And my father never did that. He never said I love you while looking me straight in the eye, he never played a game with me. He never gave me a piggyback ride, he never threw a pillow at me, or a water balloon. But I remember once when I was about four years old, there was a little carnival and he picked me up and put me on a pony. It was a tiny gesture, probably something he forgot five minutes later. But because of that moment I have this special place in my heart for him. Because that's how kids are, the little things mean so much to them and for me, that one moment meant everything. I only experienced it that one time, but it made me feel really good, about him and the world. But now I am a father myself, and one day I was thinking about my own children, Prince and Paris and how I wanted them to think of me when they grow up. To be sure, I would like them to remember how I always wanted them with me wherever I went, how I always tried to put them before everything else. But there are also challenges in their lives. Because my kids are stalked by paparazzi, they can't always go to a park or a movie with me. So what if they grow older and resent me, and how my choices impacted their youth? Why weren't we given an average childhood like all the other kids, they might ask? And at that moment I pray that my children will give me the benefit of the doubt. That they will say to themselves: "Our daddy did the best he could, given the unique circumstances that he faced. He may not have been perfect, but he was a warm and decent man, who tried to give us all the love in the world." I hope that they will always focus on the positive things, on the sacrifices I willingly made for them, and not criticise the things they had to give up, or the errors I've made, and will certainly continue to make, in raising them. For we have all been someone's child, and we know that despite the very best of plans and efforts, mistakes will always occur. That's just being human. And when I think about this, of how I hope that my children will not judge me unkindly, and will forgive my shortcomings, I am forced to think of my own father and despite my earlier denials, I am forced to admit that me must have loved me. He did love me, and I know that. There were little things that showed it. When I was a kid I had a real sweet tooth - we all did. My favourite food was glazed doughnuts and my father knew that. So every few weeks I would come downstairs in the morning and there on the kitchen counter was a bag of glazed doughnuts - no note, no explanation - just the doughnuts. It was like Santa Claus. Sometimes I would think about staying up late at night, so I could see him leave them there, but just like with Santa Claus, I didn't want to ruin the magic for fear that he would never do it again. My father had to leave them secretly at night, so as no one might catch him with his guard down. He was scared of human emotion, he didn't understand it or know how to deal with it. But he did know doughnuts. And when I allow the floodgates to open up, there are other memories that come rushing back, memories of other tiny gestures, however imperfect, that showed that he did what he could. So tonight, rather than focusing on what my father didn't do, I want to focus on all the things he did do and on his own personal challenges. I want to stop judging him. I have started reflecting on the fact that my father grew up in the South, in a very poor family. He came of age during the Depression and his own father, who struggled to feed his children, showed little affection towards his family and raised my father and his siblings with an iron fist. Who could have imagined what it was like to grow up a poor black man in the South, robbed of dignity, bereft of hope, struggling to become a man in a world that saw my father as subordinate. I was the first black artist to be played on MTV and I remember how big a deal it was even then. And that was in the 80s! My father moved to Indiana and had a large family of his own, working long hours in the steel mills, work that kills the lungs and humbles the spirit, all to support his family. Is it any wonder that he found it difficult to expose his feelings? Is it any mystery that he hardened his heart, that he raised the emotional ramparts? And most of all, is it any wonder why he pushed his sons so hard to succeed as performers, so that they could be saved from what he knew to be a life of indignity and poverty? I have begun to see that even my father's harshness was a kind of love, an imperfect love, to be sure, but love nonetheless. He pushed me because he loved me. Because he wanted no man ever to look down at his offspring. And now with time, rather than bitterness, I feel blessing. In the place of anger, I have found absolution. And in the place of revenge I have found reconciliation. And my initial fury has slowly given way to forgiveness. Almost a decade ago, I founded a charity called Heal the World. The title was something I felt inside me. Little did I know, as Shmuley later pointed out, that those two words form the cornerstone of Old Testament prophecy. Do I really believe that we can heal this world, that is riddled with war and genocide, even today? And do I really think that we can heal our children, the same children who can enter their schools with guns and hatred and shoot down their classmates, like they did at Columbine? Or children who can beat a defenceless toddler to death, like the tragic story of Jamie Bulger? Of course I do, or I wouldn't be here tonight. But it all begins with forgiveness, because to heal the world, we first have to heal ourselves. And to heal the kids, we first have to heal the child within, each and every one of us. As an adult, and as a parent, I realise that I cannot be a whole human being, nor a parent capable of unconditional love, until I put to rest the ghosts of my own childhood. And that's what I'm asking all of us to do tonight. Live up to the fifth of the Ten Commandments. Honour your parents by not judging them. Give them the benefit of the doubt. That is why I want to forgive my father and to stop judging him. I want to forgive my father, because I want a father, and this is the only one that I've got. I want the weight of my past lifted from my shoulders and I want to be free to step into a new relationship with my father, for the rest of my life, unhindered by the goblins of the past. In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe. To all of you tonight who feel let down by your parents, I ask you to let down your disappointment. To all of you tonight who feel cheated by your fathers or mothers, I ask you not to cheat yourself further. And to all of you who wish to push your parents away, I ask you to extend you hand to them instead. I am asking you, I am asking myself, to give our parents the gift of unconditional love, so that they too may learn how to love from us, their children. So that love will finally be restored to a desolate and lonely world. Shmuley once mentioned to me an ancient Biblical prophecy which says that a new world and a new time would come, when "the hearts of the parents would be restored through the hearts of their children". My friends, we are that world, we are those children. Mahatma Gandhi said: "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Tonight, be strong. Beyond being strong, rise to the greatest challenge of all - to restore that broken covenant. We must all overcome whatever crippling effects our childhoods may have had on our lives and in the words of Jesse Jackson, forgive each other, redeem each other and move on. This call for forgiveness may not result in Oprah moments the world over, with thousands of children making up with their parents, but it will at least be a start, and we'll all be so much happier as a result. And so ladies and gentlemen, I conclude my remarks tonight with faith, joy and excitement. From this day forward, may a new song be heard. Let that new song be the sound of children laughing. Let that new song be the sound of children playing. Let that new song be the sound of children singing. And let that new song be the sound of parents listening. Together, let us create a symphony of hearts, marvelling at the miracle of our children and basking in the beauty of love. Let us heal the world and blight its pain. And may we all make beautiful music together. God bless you, and I love you. 出處： |
謝謝，謝謝各位親愛的朋友，對大家如此熱烈的歡迎，我由衷的表示感謝，謝謝主席，對您的盛意邀請，我感到萬分榮幸。同時，我特別地感謝猶太教律法家 Shmuley ，感謝您十一年來在牛津所做的工作。您和我一起努力建立“拯救兒童”，就如創作我們的直白書一樣艱辛，但自始至終你都給予極大的支持和愛心。我還要感謝“拯救兒童”的理事 Toba Friedman ，她將於今晚返回母校，在此，她曾經作為一個 Marshall 學者工作過。當然還感謝我們“拯救兒童”組織的另一位元中心成員 Marilyn Piels 。
但是我可以說，比起大多數人，在其他文化方面我擁有更豐富的經驗。人類文明不僅僅包括圖書館中紙墨記載的，還包括那些記在人們內心的，刻進人們靈魂的，印入人類精神的。而且朋友們，在我相對短暫的生命裏我經歷了這麼多，以至於我真的難以相信自己只有 42 歲。我經常對 Shmuley 說我的心理年齡肯定至少有 80 了，今晚我甚至像個 80 歲老人一樣走路。那麼就請大家聽我說，因為今天我一定要對大家講的或許會讓大家一起來治癒人道，拯救地球！
大家都有過童年，可我卻缺少它，缺少那些寶貴的美妙的無憂無慮嬉戲玩耍的時光，而那些日子我們本該愜意地沉浸在父母親人的疼愛中，為星期一重要的拼寫考試下功夫做準備。
熟悉 The Jackson 5 的朋友都知道我 5 歲時就開始表演，從那以後，就再也沒有停止過跳舞唱歌。 雖然音樂表演的確是我最大的樂趣，可是小的時候我更想和其他的男孩子一樣，搭樹屋，打水仗，捉迷藏。但是命中註定我只能嫉妒那些笑聲和歡樂。
我的職業生活不容停歇。不過每個禮拜天我都要去參加教會工作，那時，我就會設想自己的童年和別人的一樣充滿魔力。
而自從我成名以後，我就不得不用肥大的衣服，假髮，鬍鬚和眼鏡把自己偽裝起來。我們在加州南部的郊區度過一整天，挨家挨戶串門，或者在購物中心閒逛，發放我們的瞭望台雜誌。我也喜歡到普通的家庭裏去，看那些粗毛地毯，看那些小傢伙們過家家，看所有的精彩普通閃亮的日常生活情景。我知道很多人會認為這沒什麼大不了，可對我卻充滿了誘惑。
我常常想自己這種沒有童年的感覺是獨一無二的，我想能和我分享這種感覺的人更是少之又少。前些時候，我有幸遇到了三、四十年代的一位童星秀蘭鄧波兒，一見面我們什麼都不說，只是一起哭，因為她能分擔我的痛苦，這種痛苦只有我的一些密友，伊莉莎白泰勒和麥考利克金他們才能體會到。
我說這些並不是要博得大家的同情，只是想讓大家牢記一點——這種失去童年的痛苦不僅僅屬於好萊塢的童星。 現在，這已經成為全世界的災難。童年成了當代生活的犧牲品。我們使很多孩子不曾擁有歡樂，不曾得到相應的權利，不曾獲得自由，而且還認為一個孩子就該是這樣的。
現在，孩子們經常被鼓勵長大得快一些，好像這個叫做童年的時期是一個累贅的階段，大人們很不耐煩地想著方法讓它盡可能地快些結束。在這個問題上，我無疑是世界上最專業的人士之一了。
我這一代正是廢除親子盟約必要性的見證。心理學家在書中詳述了不給予孩子絕對的愛而導致的毀滅性影響，這種無條件的愛對他們精神和人格的健康發展是極其必要的。因為被忽視，很多孩子就封閉自己。他們漸漸疏遠自己的父母親，祖父母以及其他的家庭成員，我們身邊那種曾經團結過一代人的不滅的凝集力就這樣散開了。
這種違背常理的行為造就了一代新人，他們擁有所有外在的東西 -- 財富，成功，時裝和跑車，但他們的內心卻是痛苦和空虛。胸口的空洞，心靈的荒蕪，那些空白的地方曾經搏動著我們的心臟，曾經被愛佔據。
其實，不僅孩子們痛苦，父母親也同樣受煎熬。我們越是讓孩子們早熟，我們就越來越遠離了天真，而這種天真就算成年人也值得擁有。
因此我建議今晚我們就為每個家庭建立一部全體兒童權利條約，這些條例是：
朋友們，人類所有知識的創立，人類意識的萌芽必然需要我們每一個人都成為被愛的物件。哪怕你不知道自己的頭髮是紅色還是棕色，不知道自己是白人還是黑人，不知道自己信仰哪個宗教，你也應該知道自己是被愛著的。 大概十二年前，我正好在準備我的 BAD 巡演，一個小男孩和他的父母親來加州看我。癌症正在威脅著他的生命，他告訴我他非常愛我和我的音樂。他的父母告訴我他生命將盡，說不上哪一天就會離開，我就對他說：「你瞧，三個月之後我就要到堪薩斯州你住的那個城市去開演唱會，我希望你來看我的演出，我還要送給你一件我在一部錄影帶裏穿過的夾克。」他眼睛一亮，說：「你要把它送給我？」我說：「當然，不過你必須答應我穿著它來看我的演出。」我只想盡力讓他堅持住，就對他說：「我希望在我的演唱會上看見你穿著這件夾克戴著這只手套。」於是，我又送了一隻鑲著萊茵石的手套給他。一般我決不送手套給別人。但他就要去天堂了。
不過，也許他離那兒實在太近，我到他的城市時，他已經走了，他們埋葬他時給他穿上那件夾克戴上那只手套。他只有 10 歲。上帝知道，我知道，他曾經多麼努力地支持過。但至少，在他離開時，他知道自己是被深愛著的，不僅被父母親，甚至還有幾乎是個陌生人的我也同樣愛他。擁有了這些愛，他知道他不是孤獨地來到這個世界，同樣也不是孤獨地離開。
可是，如果你沒有被愛的記憶，你就無法發現世界上有什麼東西能夠讓你充實。無論你賺了多少錢，無論你有多出名，你仍然覺得空虛。你真正尋找的只是無條件的愛和完全的包容。而這些在你誕生時就被拒絕給予。
朋友們，讓我給大家描述一下這樣的情景，在美國每一天將有── 6 個不滿 20 歲的青年自殺， 12 個 20 歲以下的孩子死于武器──記住這只是一天，不是一年。另外還有 399 個年輕人因為服用麻醉品而被逮捕， 1352 個嬰兒被十幾歲的媽媽生出來，這都發生在世界上最富有最發達的國家。
是的，我的國家所充斥的暴力，其他的工業化國家無法相提並論。這只是美國年輕人宣洩自己所受的傷害和憤怒的途徑，但是，難道英國就沒有同樣煩惱痛苦的人嗎？調查表明英國每小時都會有三個十來歲的孩子自殘，經常割燙自己的身體或者服用過量藥劑。這是他們現在用來發洩痛苦煩惱的方法。
在大不列顛，有 20% 的家庭一年只能聚在一起吃一次晚飯，一年才一次！ 80 年研究發現，聽教多的孩子都有較強的識讀能力和動手能力，而且，遠比看著學的有效果。然而，英國只有不到 33% 的二至八歲的孩子才能固定地在晚睡前聽段故事。如果我們沒有意識到 75% 的家長在他們的那個年齡都是聽著故事過來的，那麼大家可能就不會想到什麼了。
很顯然，我們沒有問過自己這些痛苦憤怒和暴力從何而來。不言而喻，孩子們特別憎恨被忽略，害怕冷漠，他們哭泣只是為了引起注意。在美國，各種兒童保護機構表示，平均每年，有千萬兒童成為了因忽略冷漠是受害者，這是一種虐待！富有的家庭，幸運的家庭，完全被電子產品束縛了。父母親回到家裏，可是他們沒有真正回家，他們的靈魂還在辦公室。那麼孩子們呢？啊，只好以他們所能得到的一些感情的碎片勉強過活。在無休止的電視，電腦遊戲和錄影帶上又能得到多少呢！
這些讓我覺得扭曲靈魂震撼心靈的又冷又硬的東西正好可以讓大家明白，我為什麼要花費這麼多時間精力來支援拯救孩子的活動讓它能獲得巨大的成功。
我們的目的很簡單——重建父母兒女之間的融洽關係，重許我們的承諾去點亮所有終究有一天會來到這個世界美麗孩子們的前行路途。 （這次公開演講之後，你們能對我敞開心扉，我覺得我會和你們聊更多。不過如果對我們每個人各自的故事都作統計的話就可能侵犯個人隱私了。） 常言道，撫養孩子就像跳舞。你走一步，你的孩子跟一步。而我發覺養育孩子時，你對孩子的付出只是故事的一半，而另一半就是孩子對父母的回報。 在我小時候，我記得我們有一隻名叫“黑姑娘”的狼狗，她不僅不能看家，而且很膽小並且神經質，甚至對卡車的聲音和印地安那的雷雨也恐懼不已，我的妹妹珍妮和我在她身上下了不少心，但是我們沒能贏得她的信任，她以前的主人總是打她，我們不知道為了什麼，但是無論原因是什麼，這尚不足以使這條狗喪失忠誠。
還有更糟的孩子，他們怨恨父母，甚至父母的任何可能的提議都會被激烈地駁回。 今晚，我不希望我們之中任何人犯這樣的錯誤，這就是為什麼我正號召全世界的孩子──和我們今晚在場的人一起開始──寬恕我們的父母，如果我們覺得被忽略，那麼寬恕他們並且教他們怎樣愛。
聽到我沒有一個幸福童年時您可能並不吃驚，我和我父親的緊張關係就是一例。我父親是個嚴厲的人，從記事起，他努力地讓我們儘量做好的演員。
他不善於表達愛，他從不說他愛我，也從未誇獎我，如果我表現的很棒，他會說不錯，如果我表現的還行，他就我表現得很爛。
讓我們取得事業的成功是他最熱切的希望，我的父親是個天才管理者，我和我的哥哥們在事業上不成功，他就以強迫的方式，讓我成為一個演員，在他的指導下，我沒有錯過任何一個機遇。
但我真正想要的是一個讓我感覺到愛的父親，我的父親卻不是這樣，在他直視著我時從不說愛我，從未和我玩過一個遊戲，沒有玩過騎馬，沒有扔過枕頭，沒有玩過水球。
但我記得我四歲那年，有一個小的狂歡節，他把我放在小馬上，這樣小的一個動作，或許他五分鐘就忘記了，但因為那一刻，在我心裏，他有了一個特別的位置，這就是孩子，很小的事情對他們意味著很多，對我亦如此，那一刻意味著一切，我僅僅經歷過一次，但那感覺真好，對他也是對世界的感覺！
所以如果他們長大了之後怨恨我，那又怎麼樣呢？我的選擇給他們的童年帶來了多大的影響？他們也許會問，為什麼我們沒有和其他孩子一樣的童年呢？在那一刻，我祈禱，我的孩子能夠理解我。他們會對自己說：“我們的爸爸已經盡了他最大努力，他面對的是獨一無二的狀況。他或許不完美，但他卻是個溫和正派的人，想把這世上所有的愛都給我們。” 我希望他們能總是把焦點放在那些積極的方面，比如我心甘情願為他們做出的犧牲；而不是那些他們不得不放棄的事情，或我在撫養他們的過程中犯過的或不能避免犯下的錯誤。因為我們都曾是他人的孩子，而且我們都清楚，儘管有非常好的計畫和努力，錯誤仍總是會發生。因為人孰無過？ 當我想到這，想到我是多麼希望我的孩子不會覺得我不夠好，而且會原諒我的缺點時，我不得不想起我自己的父親，不管我之前是多麼地否定他，我必須承認他一定是愛我的。他的確愛我，我知道的。
從一件小事就可以看出來，在我小時候，非常喜歡吃甜食 -- 孩子們都這樣。我父親知道我最喜歡吃麵包圈。於是每隔幾個星期，當我早上從樓上下來時，我都會再廚房的櫃檯上發現一整袋麵包圈 -- 沒有字條、沒有說明。就像是聖誕老人送來的禮物。
後來我父親搬到印地安那州並且有了自己的大家庭，他在煉鋼廠長時間的工作，那工作很低下，而且對肺有損害，這一切都是為了家。這是否很奇怪，因為他艱於表達？這是否很神秘，因為他的心那樣飽經滄桑？最重要的，這是否不可理解，因為他逼他的兒子去走演藝成功之路？ -- 為了免於再過受侮辱和貧窮的生活。
我開始明白就連父親的咆哮也是一種愛，一種不完美的愛，但是儘管如此，他逼我因為他愛我，因為他希望沒人會鄙視他的子女。
現在，想起曾經的苦難，我感到幸福。在憤怒中，我發現了超脫，在復仇中，我發現了和解，就連最初的憤怒也慢慢變成了寬恕。
這也是今晚我讓大家做的事情。無愧於十大戒律第五條。敬愛你們的父母而不是褒貶他們。
這就是為什麼我要寬恕我的父親並且不再評論他，因為我只想要一個“父親”，這也是我唯一得到的。我想卸掉一切包袱和我父親和好，來度過我的餘生，不受過去陰影的妨礙。
如果世界充滿仇恨，我們仍然安於種地，如果世界充滿憤怒，我們仍然敢於安慰，如果世界充滿絕望，我們仍然敢於憧憬，如果世界充滿猜度，我們仍然敢於信任。
今晚讓父母失望的人們，我要你們對自己的沮喪失望，今晚感覺被父母親欺騙的人們，我要你們不要再欺騙自己，今晚所有希望將父母踢開的人們，我要你們把手伸向他們。我在要求你，我在要求我自己，把無條件的愛給我們的父母，這樣他們會從他們的孩子那裏學會愛，這樣會最終重建一個愛的世界。
Shmuley 曾提到古書上的預言 -- 新的世界將要到來， -- 當父母的心換回孩子的心的時候。我的朋友們，我們就是那個世界，我們就是那些孩子。
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2009年7月15日 星期三
Michael Jackson - Oxford Speech 2001
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